Now what?

Class has ended. Whew! Such a bittersweet taste lingers on my fingertips. Fingers that have been making shapes of classifiers, fingers looking like people, fingers running down the hall, fingerspelling my proper nouns.

Sweat flings from my knuckles and brow as I discuss my research paper. Nervous, shaky, stomach butterflies, and a dry throat plague my body before I use it as my mode of communcation. Questions are answered and ideas are shared. Laughter and snickers make for smiling and bouncing faces. My teacher points to the speaker with his fingers as to direct the conversation.

Fingers fly with ideas.

Tonight I felt like those Lexington kids I read about in Deaf Studies books at Christmastime.

Alone.
Lonely.
Seperated.
My friends talk about orientation and semester planning. They discuss requirements and flip cams. Papers and transportation. Study breaks and meet up groups.

Tonight is the last night I will be a part of this family. This interpreter family. Yes I will see them again, the community is only so big. But our intimacy is cut short tonight. For alas, I have not been accepted... yet.

Please, ASL Gods and Godesses: Accept me into your world. Let me become a part of this magical family.

I feel like the Little Mermaid.





- Beamed from my Soul Phone